How do I deal with a wife who has secretly in most cases run up over $40,000 in consumer debt?

James D asked:


Eighteen year otherwise wonderful 2nd marriage for both. Her kids. My kids. She is a professional woman making $60,000 a year. Seperate finances except for joint expenses like mortgage and household expenses. She’s still paying off student loans for two of her adult children who are now well off. Her oldest is a 37 year old fowl up son for whom she insists on assuming a new student loan. I learned she went to Credit Counseling but claimed owed only about $21,000 in debt. There she signed a usurous contract without reading it to obtain reduced payments to creditors. I finally got her to list everthing she owed. I believe she was truly shocked when the real total was reached. Has a long history of secrecy, late payments, creditor calls, etc. Otherwise is a kind, giving, sensitive honest rational woman. We’re 60+ yrs old. I’m retired with limited income . I don’t understand and I don’t know how to deal with this. Do I talk with a lawyer, a psychiatrist? Help!

Natalie