I need help for a conclusion on this essay please?

3 Responses to I need help for a conclusion on this essay please?

1. Andy says:

   April 9, 2009 at 4:25 am

   Lois

   The purpose of a conclusion is to conclude a paper, and sum up what your paper is talking about and prove your thesis statement. This is what I thought a good conclusion for your paper would be. “Russian society went through an unavoidable Bolshevik revolution from 1861 and 1924. Industrialization helped further this revolution to what it became. Also the prized spot of czar accelerated the race between the Bolsheviks and Mensheviks.” Continue to expand from here and try not to use the words it or things, very vague and confusing for papers. I havent much knowledge on the subject of the Bolshevik Revolution but I think you did a very good job. Good luck on your paper and God bless.
2. Dragons93 says:

   April 9, 2009 at 5:27 am

   Jay

   you wrote over through the Czar. it is actually over-throw. You may want to mention that the country is now a democracy and ponder what other changes may be in store for these people.
3. Andrea F says:

   April 12, 2009 at 3:59 am

   Eileen

   You look like you did some good research. Your paper had a lot of grammaticall errors, particularly verb tenses (switching between present and past). I think I’ve corrected all of those. I also took the liberty of summarizing the rights that the people demanded since they were fragmentary sentences, and I wrote you a little conclusion. Here’s my edited version of your essay:

   Every aspect of Russian society changed between 1861 and 1924. This drastic transformation led to the Bolshevik revolution in November of 1917. Given the nature of Russian society, was the Bolshevik revolution unavoidable?

   Germany’s unification between 1861 and 1891 accelerated its military and political power and prompted Russia to industrialize. Sergei Witte, who was Minister of Finance from 1892-1903, almost single-handedly pushed Russia into industrialization. He knew that Russia needed a catalyst for industrialization. Witte’s efforts made industrial advances from 1892 to 1910. Between 1880 and 1914, Russia had a growth rate of 3.5%. This would have elevated Russia in the rank of industrial and economical world powers. It was said that all Russia needed 20 years of peace, and she would not be in risk of revolution. The statement was ignored and in 1904, Russia commenced a yearlong war with Japan. The Czar’s ministers assured him that the war with Japan would be an easy victory. Instead, Russia suffered a devastating defeat, which lead to the revolution of 1905.

   There were social democrats, such as the Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. Both groups aimed to overthrow the Czar and create a socialist state. Both had the support of students and workers, but the main differences were in the parties’ organization. The Bolsheviks “believed in a small, secret, disciplined party of professional revolutionists who would seize power when the time was right”. They planned revolutionary cells of three or four people who would organize strikes and demonstrations in factories. One of these people was Vladimir Ulyanov, better known as Lenin. He was a devoted Bolshevik who was exiled to Siberia after being arrested for his action in a Marxist group. Lenin remained outside Russia and organized strikes until the revolution in 1917. The Mensheviks, believed the party should be a mass organization which all workers could join. This mass party would grow until it eventually took power. Among these the Mensheviks was Lev Bronstein, better known as Trotsky. Trotsky was a “kulack”, a rich peasant. He was sent to exile for writing revolutionary pamphlets and leading strikes. Later on, he became the Menshevik chairman after coming back from exile in February of 1905. When the revolution collapsed he was once again arrested, but escaped and fled to America.

   In 1905, a petition of the workers and residents of St. Petersburg was submitted to Czar Nicholas II. A large group formed in front of his palace and claimed that they would let themselves be shot if the demands of the people were not met, saying, “we do not regret this sacrifice. We are glad to make it.” Among the demands were the immediate release of all who have suffered for religious, political, striking and peasant disorders. They also wanted state-financed education, guaranteed rule of law, and other various rights and freedoms. The Czar responded by granting the population the freedom of speech, assembly and association, starting the Duma and the security that no law can be changed without the sanction of the state Duma. Unfortunately the set of three Dumas made no progress, despite the efforts of Stolypin, who made great agricultural advances.
   On October 1916, a police report from Petrograd was released. The report stated that military defeats helped the masses understand the problem of war. Unfair food distribution, a rapid increase in living costs and a lack of supplies were factors that showed how the state was neglecting events in Russia. Everyday life became impossible, and there were feelings of hostility everywhere. When the revolution took place in November 1917, the Czar lost police support. They did not fire upon the crowds, as they had in the past. The people were frustrated and would not tolerate what was happening in their country anymore.

   After the Czar lost power, Lenin took control of the country. Lenin came to power in 1917 as the head of the Bolshevik party, and he was leader of Russia until his death in 1924. Stalin won the struggle with Trotsky to become leader of the Communist party in 1929 and remained the leader until his death in 1953. Both Lenin and Stalin were extremely patriotic; they loved their land and country and they tried to improve it as best as they could. Lenin and Stalin were both ruthless leaders. Stalin changed his name and showed fear to gain power. Lenin used his secret police to crush any opposition, and people were not allowed to talk freely. Stalin used his secret police to crush his opponents as well. Stalin believed in equality, therefore creating a communist country. He was loved and hated at the same time by many people. He wanted Russia to be a modernized country by bringing in more work and increasing the population of the industrial centers.

   Russia was shaped by powerful forces from both outside and within. The race to become industrialized was a small stone in the pond. The ripples that emanated from that event escalated to the Bolshevik Revolution. Russian pride would not have been served by anything less.

   Good Luck!